Friday, December 12, 2008

Christmas Sugar Cookies

Christmas Cookies—Almost like mom used to make
Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen, award winning author, retired politician and honored citizen.

Put the following Ingredients (all of them) into a big bowl—your Sunday afternoon Popcorn Bowl will do just Fine.

* 1 cup butter (the real stuff) Find the cup with the stuff marked on the side, if you can’t find that one use a coffee cup (make sure it’s empty) smush the butter in.
* 2 cups white sugar (brown sugar is for sissies and yuppies)
Attention > Do not, under any circumstances use sugar substitutes, there is not such a thing as a substitute for sugar
* 2 eggs, (and beat them up with a fork) Take shells off eggs before beating
* Pour is some milk (most recipes say two tablespoons—who wants to measure milk with a spoon. The only time I use a spoon with milk is to stir in the chocolate)
* Couple of shots of vanilla
* 3 cups flour (and while we are talking about flour—maybe this would be a good time to order some flowers for who ever is going to clean the kitchen after the cookies are completed) Remember you are the chef and have you ever seen the chef clean up on any TV cooking shows. I don’t think so!
* 2 teaspoons baking powder (if you don’t have baking powder—save your time and gas—don’t go to the store—lots of stuff look like baking powder—corn starch, baking soda, gravy mix—maybe not that one. Anyway just put in some white fluffy stuff, who is going to know anyway?
* 1/2 teaspoon salt –As a chef I prefer the term a pinch of salt
* And maybe some more sugar, granulated, and a touch of flour just in case too much milk got poured in or in case a little beer got spilled into the dough.

-Preparation – Or, how to make the cookies-

Now here is where the old Wyoming chef can save you some time.
If the recipe says stuff like cream the butter or beat in something slowly or let set at room temperature or blend in, cut in or do anything slowly—Forget It.
Remember that big Popcorn bowl? Pour everything in and grab a big ol’ chili spoon and stir it up till it looks about right.
Now for the tricky part—most recipes say to cover and refrigerate for several hours or overnight. Hey, how does that work? Drooling over the mere thought of sugar cookie heaven and now we are supposed to wait. No Way.

Stick the big bowl in the freezer for about 20 minutes and it’s time to make cookies.
Shape the dough into golf ball sized clumps. This will make a nice big cookie, that way you will be able to truthfully say, “I only ate three or four.

Get out the best baking sheet in the house—a big flat chunk of some kind of metal stuff, the one used for heating up frozen Pizza before the invention of the microwave.

Flatten the golf balls with the bottom of your beer or soda can all over the baking sheet
Pour on some sugar and cinnamon—to taste, so, cover um up.
Bake at 367 degrees for 9-10 minutes or until edges look about right. **
Remove and enjoy!
Makes about 2 and 2/3 dozen Christmas cookies
**If you are in a hurry heat oven to 800 degrees and bake for three minutes
If you are like me and you want the ones with all the frosting—see my famous frosting receipt or just go buy a couple of big block Hershey’s Bars and follow the instructions below.

Unwrap bars and place in the big white mixing bowl (everyone has one)
Put in microwave for 2 minutes on high—Super high if you have it.
Take bowl of liquid chocolate from microwave and pour on cookies.


1 comment:

Raike said...
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