Merry Christmas to all and let’s not forget we are blessed every day of the year by friends, family and readers. My wish for you is that this Christmas will be your best ever.
God bless and enjoy the day like none other.
Christmas Stocking Stuffer
Haul into the house from the wood shed one large lump of coal
Take coal to workshop
Strike coal with hammer multiple times
Pick out the nicest and shiniest pieces –about the size of a golf ball will do
On Christmas Eve sneak up to the stockings and put one lump of coal in each stocking—except your own—in your own put a roll of shinny new quarters
Go back to bed and sleep tight
In the morning act as if you have no idea why Santa would pull such a dastardly deed
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 12, 2008
Christmas Sugar Cookies
Christmas Cookies—Almost like mom used to make
-by-
Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen, award winning author, retired politician and honored citizen.
Put the following Ingredients (all of them) into a big bowl—your Sunday afternoon Popcorn Bowl will do just Fine.
* 1 cup butter (the real stuff) Find the cup with the stuff marked on the side, if you can’t find that one use a coffee cup (make sure it’s empty) smush the butter in.
* 2 cups white sugar (brown sugar is for sissies and yuppies)
Attention > Do not, under any circumstances use sugar substitutes, there is not such a thing as a substitute for sugar
* 2 eggs, (and beat them up with a fork) Take shells off eggs before beating
* Pour is some milk (most recipes say two tablespoons—who wants to measure milk with a spoon. The only time I use a spoon with milk is to stir in the chocolate)
* Couple of shots of vanilla
* 3 cups flour (and while we are talking about flour—maybe this would be a good time to order some flowers for who ever is going to clean the kitchen after the cookies are completed) Remember you are the chef and have you ever seen the chef clean up on any TV cooking shows. I don’t think so!
* 2 teaspoons baking powder (if you don’t have baking powder—save your time and gas—don’t go to the store—lots of stuff look like baking powder—corn starch, baking soda, gravy mix—maybe not that one. Anyway just put in some white fluffy stuff, who is going to know anyway?
* 1/2 teaspoon salt –As a chef I prefer the term a pinch of salt
* And maybe some more sugar, granulated, and a touch of flour just in case too much milk got poured in or in case a little beer got spilled into the dough.
-Preparation – Or, how to make the cookies-
Now here is where the old Wyoming chef can save you some time.
If the recipe says stuff like cream the butter or beat in something slowly or let set at room temperature or blend in, cut in or do anything slowly—Forget It.
Remember that big Popcorn bowl? Pour everything in and grab a big ol’ chili spoon and stir it up till it looks about right.
Now for the tricky part—most recipes say to cover and refrigerate for several hours or overnight. Hey, how does that work? Drooling over the mere thought of sugar cookie heaven and now we are supposed to wait. No Way.
Stick the big bowl in the freezer for about 20 minutes and it’s time to make cookies.
Shape the dough into golf ball sized clumps. This will make a nice big cookie, that way you will be able to truthfully say, “I only ate three or four.
Get out the best baking sheet in the house—a big flat chunk of some kind of metal stuff, the one used for heating up frozen Pizza before the invention of the microwave.
Flatten the golf balls with the bottom of your beer or soda can all over the baking sheet
Pour on some sugar and cinnamon—to taste, so, cover um up.
Bake at 367 degrees for 9-10 minutes or until edges look about right. **
Remove and enjoy!
Makes about 2 and 2/3 dozen Christmas cookies
**If you are in a hurry heat oven to 800 degrees and bake for three minutes
-----*****************************************************************************************************************-----
If you are like me and you want the ones with all the frosting—see my famous frosting receipt or just go buy a couple of big block Hershey’s Bars and follow the instructions below.
Unwrap bars and place in the big white mixing bowl (everyone has one)
Put in microwave for 2 minutes on high—Super high if you have it.
Take bowl of liquid chocolate from microwave and pour on cookies.
DELICIOUS! !
-by-
Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen, award winning author, retired politician and honored citizen.
Put the following Ingredients (all of them) into a big bowl—your Sunday afternoon Popcorn Bowl will do just Fine.
* 1 cup butter (the real stuff) Find the cup with the stuff marked on the side, if you can’t find that one use a coffee cup (make sure it’s empty) smush the butter in.
* 2 cups white sugar (brown sugar is for sissies and yuppies)
Attention > Do not, under any circumstances use sugar substitutes, there is not such a thing as a substitute for sugar
* 2 eggs, (and beat them up with a fork) Take shells off eggs before beating
* Pour is some milk (most recipes say two tablespoons—who wants to measure milk with a spoon. The only time I use a spoon with milk is to stir in the chocolate)
* Couple of shots of vanilla
* 3 cups flour (and while we are talking about flour—maybe this would be a good time to order some flowers for who ever is going to clean the kitchen after the cookies are completed) Remember you are the chef and have you ever seen the chef clean up on any TV cooking shows. I don’t think so!
* 2 teaspoons baking powder (if you don’t have baking powder—save your time and gas—don’t go to the store—lots of stuff look like baking powder—corn starch, baking soda, gravy mix—maybe not that one. Anyway just put in some white fluffy stuff, who is going to know anyway?
* 1/2 teaspoon salt –As a chef I prefer the term a pinch of salt
* And maybe some more sugar, granulated, and a touch of flour just in case too much milk got poured in or in case a little beer got spilled into the dough.
-Preparation – Or, how to make the cookies-
Now here is where the old Wyoming chef can save you some time.
If the recipe says stuff like cream the butter or beat in something slowly or let set at room temperature or blend in, cut in or do anything slowly—Forget It.
Remember that big Popcorn bowl? Pour everything in and grab a big ol’ chili spoon and stir it up till it looks about right.
Now for the tricky part—most recipes say to cover and refrigerate for several hours or overnight. Hey, how does that work? Drooling over the mere thought of sugar cookie heaven and now we are supposed to wait. No Way.
Stick the big bowl in the freezer for about 20 minutes and it’s time to make cookies.
Shape the dough into golf ball sized clumps. This will make a nice big cookie, that way you will be able to truthfully say, “I only ate three or four.
Get out the best baking sheet in the house—a big flat chunk of some kind of metal stuff, the one used for heating up frozen Pizza before the invention of the microwave.
Flatten the golf balls with the bottom of your beer or soda can all over the baking sheet
Pour on some sugar and cinnamon—to taste, so, cover um up.
Bake at 367 degrees for 9-10 minutes or until edges look about right. **
Remove and enjoy!
Makes about 2 and 2/3 dozen Christmas cookies
**If you are in a hurry heat oven to 800 degrees and bake for three minutes
-----*****************************************************************************************************************-----
If you are like me and you want the ones with all the frosting—see my famous frosting receipt or just go buy a couple of big block Hershey’s Bars and follow the instructions below.
Unwrap bars and place in the big white mixing bowl (everyone has one)
Put in microwave for 2 minutes on high—Super high if you have it.
Take bowl of liquid chocolate from microwave and pour on cookies.
DELICIOUS! !
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Pepsi Can Chicken
By revered Wyoming chief, outdoorsman, historian, writer and all-around good guy.
Neil Waring
Now before we start this recipe we must explain the Pepsi can stuff. Some old boys refer to this as Beer Can Chicken, but around my place a Pepsi will have to do. Feel free to use Coke also but do not use any of that sissy soda pop like grape or 7-up, gotta be a good cola. I use diet Pepsi, the good stuff.
-HERE IS THE STEP BY STEP-
• Fire up the grill—I like charcoal for this taste sensation. Pour about five pounds of charcoal into the grill, soak with gasoline, step back and toss a match. The charcoal are instantly ready—now that little trick is worth the price of my new cook book— described below. Sorry about your eyebrows and the hair on your fingers or where it used to be.
• Break off a piece of the Aloe Vera (I really have no idea how to spell Aloe Vera, can’t even come close enough to let the spell checker find it) in the kitchen window and rub it on the burns, may need more than one piece.
• Drink about half a can of Pepsi and save the rest for the next step.
• Grab the chicken and cram it, butt down, over the Pepsi can. If it’s frozen, stick it in the microwave on high, for a while and then cram it butt down on the can.
• Set the can, with the chicken mounted on top, on the grill, close the lid, and go back inside to watch some more of the game.
• After about a quarter of the game go out and shake a bunch of salt and pepper on the sizzling bird.
• A little while later go get it and enjoy. No need to cut it up—eat it whole, one bird per person.
• Oh, don’t drink the rest of the Pepsi
My new cookbook, Cooking 'em up Right, is available now for $9.99 and can be found in most Woolworth and Montgomery Ward stores. What a great Christmas gift idea!
Happy Cookin’
© 2008
Neil Waring
Now before we start this recipe we must explain the Pepsi can stuff. Some old boys refer to this as Beer Can Chicken, but around my place a Pepsi will have to do. Feel free to use Coke also but do not use any of that sissy soda pop like grape or 7-up, gotta be a good cola. I use diet Pepsi, the good stuff.
-HERE IS THE STEP BY STEP-
• Fire up the grill—I like charcoal for this taste sensation. Pour about five pounds of charcoal into the grill, soak with gasoline, step back and toss a match. The charcoal are instantly ready—now that little trick is worth the price of my new cook book— described below. Sorry about your eyebrows and the hair on your fingers or where it used to be.
• Break off a piece of the Aloe Vera (I really have no idea how to spell Aloe Vera, can’t even come close enough to let the spell checker find it) in the kitchen window and rub it on the burns, may need more than one piece.
• Drink about half a can of Pepsi and save the rest for the next step.
• Grab the chicken and cram it, butt down, over the Pepsi can. If it’s frozen, stick it in the microwave on high, for a while and then cram it butt down on the can.
• Set the can, with the chicken mounted on top, on the grill, close the lid, and go back inside to watch some more of the game.
• After about a quarter of the game go out and shake a bunch of salt and pepper on the sizzling bird.
• A little while later go get it and enjoy. No need to cut it up—eat it whole, one bird per person.
• Oh, don’t drink the rest of the Pepsi
My new cookbook, Cooking 'em up Right, is available now for $9.99 and can be found in most Woolworth and Montgomery Ward stores. What a great Christmas gift idea!
Happy Cookin’
© 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Barbeque
Old Fashioned Back Yard Barbeque
Can an old school teacher Barbeque in the backyard?
-Maybe-
-By
Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen, award winning author, retired politician and honored citizen.
Before starting I must warn you that not everyone can do it and if you can you can—some can’t. We will not be talking about cooking in the mountains or at the lake or city park. No this is all about cooking in the back yard. No firewood, no charcoal—today we will cook on the propane bottle, gas grill, the pride of every backyard chef, this differs from a back yard chief because, although we will be playing with fire no Teepee is needed.
RED MEAT, that’s what backyard grilling is all about. No fish, no fowl, no vegetables, just meat and keep it coming. What follows is all you need to know—these are secrets that I have been saving for years but secrets that backyard cooks everywhere need to know.
First- Turn the grill on as high as she will go, close the lid and go in the house and watch a re-run of Gunsmoke. This should warm it up just about right.
Second- Toss the meat on the grill, hamburgers, hotdogs, Polish-dogs (I hope I spelled Polish correctly because it would be really funny if I spelled it polish like the stuff you put on shoes to make um really shinny. Kind of like Job in the Bible and going to work, you know your job. Some peoples cooking will suffer like Job* in the Bible but follow these directions and yours will not.
Third- Close the lid and let ‘er cook. Cook until smoke rolls out between the lid and the grill.
Fourth- Open lid put out flames, turn off grill put meat on platter and place on picnic table.
Fifth- Serve on paper plates NOTE: get the paper plates that are a buck 99 for a hundred. It’s always hilarious to see who drops their food first.
Sixth- Wow this is a lot of steps. Make sure you have everything needed to top the meat—Ketchup, Mustard and onions, that is all you need—none of that sissy stuff like mushrooms, relish, Miracle Whip, pickles, lettuce or anything with the word sauce in it.
Seventh- Have plenty of white buns available—no whole wheat, rye, oat, rice or any of them other fake breads.
Eighth- Serve with cold pork and beans—open them with your pocket knife for effect or is it affect ?—and keep the chips coming.
Ninth- Drinks—any thing in a can
Tenth- Burp and ENJOY—Now wasn’t that easy.
* Thanks Jan for reminding me about Job--now that guy had it tough- probably no barbeque at all.
(C) 2008 N.A. Waring
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
How To Make Tea
How To Make A Fine Cup Of Wyoming Tea !
By a truly revered Wyoming chef, or is it chief never can remember. Let’s call it the Chief Chef---Not really Wyoming Tea either, tea is grown in China or Japan or Alaska, somewhere far away. The tea we’re talking about here is brewed in Wyoming. Brewed is a fancy word for cooked up-as in cooking up some tea.
Before you start make sure you find some really good water, someone once told me that water makes the tea. I believe that would be right since dry tea tastes a bit like sawdust or dried spider legs .Without water it is sure hard to drink that stuff. Under no circumstances will a fine maker of tea use bottled water—tap water makes the tea just right. If you are camping use river water but boil it up good for awhile.
- Fill up the Tea Pot (that sounds kind of sissy like, from now on we shall refer to the tea pot as a kettle).
- Set your Tea Kettle (that’s better) on a heat source: Hot Plate, Camp Fire, Fireplace, Hot Spring, Truck Radiator, House Fire, Nuclear waste site, or some other hot place.
- When steam starts to come from the spout of the kettle—it’s ready for the tea.
- Make sure you have real tea—not stuff that is called tea but none of the ingredients listed are tea. The word Herbal should not be on the tea or even in your house for that mater.
- If you have loose tea (preferred) pour in about half of the box. If you have tea bags (sissy stuff) take about a half a box of them cut um open and dump in the water.
- Let boil for a while
- Poor into a brand new Champaign glass with a fancy W embossed. (kidding) pour into cup and drink. Now that’s tasty.
- If you get a bunch of tea leaves/grounds on your teeth—lick and enjoy for a second time!
This and other great recipes can be found in Chef Neil Waring’s new cookbook—‘Cooking Stuff You Like To Eat’--$29.99 from used furniture stores, tire stores and flea markets everywhere you wanna live. Or $12.47 by mail order.
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