Crazy Cooking in Wyoming

Buttered Noodles Chicken Parmesan

2012-01-01T13:17:00.000-08:00

Just For Fun ~~Easy~~/Crazy Cooking from Wyoming
-By-
Neil WaringRevered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert and not bad in the kitchen either, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Buttered Noodles Chicken Parmesan - One of my favorites—this is good and meets my number one requirement, its quick!

Ingredients (my stuff list)

One can of chicken chunks - (yes, you purist types can use chicken breasts, frozen or fresh, just chunk up about a can full and get started.

Noodles - The hard, cheap, crunchy kind – nothing like the ones grandma used to make.

Butter – I like the unsalted, but I am an old guy, do not substitute margarine. Remember when we called it oleo? Some of the new better butter substitutes might work here.

Salt, Pepper, Sage, and Celery Seed – all to taste, go easy with the celery seed first time around.

Parmesan Cheese – fresh or as fresh as you can find it, PLEASE, none of the dry powder Parmesan from the pizza places, even if it was free.

Boil three or four handfuls of noodles to the al dente stage, (Not too hard, not mushy) to check, take out one noodle and throw at the nearest wall, if it sticks, should be about right – If your spouse is watching you might try just biting a noodle, if it tastes good, go with it-should have a tiny bit of white in the center. Note don’t forget to add salt and some oil to water, and use a big ol’ pan so the stuff won’t stick together.

While the noodles are boiling, open the can of chicken, pour off the liquid and rinse the meat. Not sure where they get the juice the chicken is in or even what it is. Remember mystery meat in the old high school cafeterias? This must be mystery chicken juice. Put chicken in very hot skillet and brown lightly to remove the rest of the nasty mystery liquid. Melt half a stick of butter –or more or less- in a big ol’ soup bowl in the microwave. This is fun the butter will pop and splatter all over the inside of the microwave, very cool. Might want to cover it to save the marriage.

Drain noodles and season with the four great Wyoming spices listed above, pour butter over and mix good - sprinkle parmesan cheese and cover with chicken. Eat and enjoy – this is good; serve with ice cold Pepsi, Coke or tea.

Cowboy Beans

2011-10-09T13:31:00.000-07:00

By revered Wyoming chef, outdoorsman, historian, writer and all-around good guy
Neil Waring

A recipe that tastes great and even a guy can make um!
A quick search of the internet will give you many ways to prepare cowboy beans, but they all have one thing in common – they have too many ingredients and they take too long to prepare. Wait a minute that was two things. Note how I cleverly used all forms of the word 2 in the above couple (means 2) of sentences?
You can make them in a crock pot but Cowboy Beans are made to be cooked over a camp fire in a big ol’ iron skillet. OK you caught me I make them in a crock pot most of the time myself. Inside winter blues got you down and you need um quick? Use the biggest frying pan in the bottom of the cabinet turn the burner on high, super high if the old range will do it (remember when we called the stove in the kitchen the range? Must be why cooking outside is sometimes called, home on the range cooking, but I digress.

First the list – Ingredients

• 1 pound lean ground beef – I still call it hamburger (I like 90 or 93 %) If you actually shot something at hunting camp last year, any wild game meat will do. Note do not use the tree, soup can or rock you shot. If you use the game meat dice it up small as you can cut it without hurting yourself.
• Chopped onion – cut one up about the size of a tennis ball
• 1 large tablespoon of ketchup – or just squeeze in a gob
• Shot of barbecue sauce
• Shot of mustard – the yellow kind nothing fancy here
• 1/3 c. granulated sugar or brown sugar
• Shake in some pepper – more if you like it a lot
• Quarter teaspoon of ground sage
• 1 tbsp. chili powder
• 1/8 tsp. salt – or none at all - easy on the old ticker
• 2 cans red beans
• 1 can black beans
• 1 can kidney beans
• 1 can Navy beans
• 1/2 lb. bacon, cooked and crumbled – or buy the crumbles, much faster.
• Fry up the meat, after it gets a good start toss in the onion – if it starts to dry stir in some of the liquid from the beans. Mix in everything once the meat is cooked. Stir and cook for 5 minutes. Take the entire mixture and bake in the oven or turn to low and simmer. After 30 minutes or half an hour, whichever comes first, move off the heat, cover and let set for an hour. No peaking.
• Final dish should be a casserole type dish, not a soup. The ladies at the church will love it till they found out who made it. Just Kidding! :)

• *Serve with coke-a- cola, chips and carrot sticks.

• *In hunting camp serve with warm beer, chips and Oreos.

Back again

2011-09-29T19:11:00.001-07:00

Almost completed our move to the country--then I will be back.

Hey Been Cookin on the Grill

2011-06-30T20:23:00.000-07:00

More stuff to come--love this time of year, cooking outside. Today we had mesquite/onion smoked Pork chops. Easy to make and I will show you how as soon as I get back from vacation. I know, I know, how could I be going on vacation when I have not posted for 6 months, well I am not sure -- see you all soon. And you can take that to the grill.

Hamburger Stroganoff

2011-01-30T14:35:00.000-08:00

-Here is what you will need-

*1 lb. ground beef (we say hamburger at our house) - brown in skillet, don’t chop it up too tiny
*1/2 c. chopped onion ( chunks about a half inch square)
*1/4 tsp. paprika (nice color and flavor)
*1 c. sour cream (this makes it stroganoff)
*1 c. cream of celery soup – ( most use mushroom soup, but I hate mushrooms, if you like um, us it) Do not measure – dump in a can
*3 Table spoons bacon bits or three or four slices of bacon
* Pinch of salt (no more than ¼ teaspoon)
*Dash of pepper (to taste)
I love recipes that say a pinch of this and a dash of that— this will give you a chance to make it your own)

-Here is how you fix it-

-One cup -Old fashioned noodles (cook just until they are soft, drain and melt in a quarter stick of butter (not margarine) set aside and save

-Brown hamburger, add bacon bits the last few minutes
-Add onion and cook until soft
-Add seasonings –you a few pinches or dashes of this or that, I add a little sage, and some thyme
-Stir in soup
-Cook slowly, uncovered for about 20 minutes (I usually crank it up on high and cook about 8 or 9 minutes, civilized cooks use twenty minutes and simmer) simmer is another good cooking term-not sure what it means but do remember people telling me to simmer down when I was a kid.
-Stir in sour cream – right at the end of the simmer
-Heat and serve over the hot buttered noodles from above

This stuff is good – we serve with diet cola or ice tea and corn bread, raw vegetable tray on the side

Looking At Other Cooking Blogs

2011-01-24T19:21:00.000-08:00

Been traveling through a bunch of cooking blogs the past few days, know what I found—a lot of stuff I would never eat. Who really cooks like this at home?

I want good food that does not take much time. Oh- and not from a box or package from the freezer section. Over the years my wife and I have found some swell stuff we can put together in only a few minutes. I don’t actually use the word swell but thought it sounded funny. Back to the subject-quick good food in a reasonable time-

My next three blogs—maybe four, will cover my favorites.

Can’t hardly wait, can you?

Happy eating

The Best Ice Cream EVER

2011-01-16T17:53:00.000-08:00

By Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

We have a small, inexpensive ice cream maker, not sure where or when we got it, but more than likely I bought it somewhere along the line because it was setting in a store display to catch shoppers like me. But it really works. My wife is convalescing after major surgery and today wanted Ice cream, not from the store, but my good old home-made. And you know what? It tastes great, every time.

-Ingredients (2 Quart tabletop maker)-Ours is a Rival but there are many great little makers today.

1cup milk (1%, 2% or whole, doesn’t matter, who can tell the difference anyway)?

3/4 cups sugar (most reciepes call for a cup or more—but trust me, this is enough and tastes best)

1/8 teaspoon salt

3 cups half and half (I use cream if I have it for ½ of this)

1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract (I use the fake stuff—cheaper)
And that’s it-add flavors through the hole in the top a few minutes after starting, Today’s flavor at our house was strawberry. The frozen berries are great for this.

Hint for us guys who hate doing dishes—I dump the ingredients straight into the maker and let-er-rip, no need to use a bowl or your very fine Waring blender to mix before stating. Saves time too, and the wife will say, “how do you do that so fast?”
You will smile that wry, cowboy smile and say, “I am the world’s greatest Ice Cream maker.”

-Joke to follow-

Old guy walks up to an Ice Cream booth at the local fair, "What kinds of ice cream do you have?”

"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry," the young girl behind the counter wheezed as she spoke, patted her chest and seemed unable to continue.

"Do you have laryngitis?" the guy asked sympathetically.
"Nope," she whispered, "just vanilla, chocolate and strawberry

Today - Eat Like A Kid

2011-01-07T20:32:00.000-08:00

My lunch today

Peanut Butter and Jelly on wheat toast & Chicken Noodle Soup

-Here is what you need-

Jelly – (my homemade chokecherry—and it is some fine tasting stuff)
Peanut butter - (I like the super junk)
Bread-2 slices (I buy the cheap stuff, my wife finds better, doesn’t matter, toasted and covered, cheap seems good to me)
One can chicken noodle soup (I like Campbell’s, because it is really salty tasting – not sure that is a great endorsement)
Anyway—toast 2 slices of bread –and then the tricky part, peanut butter on one, and jelly on the other. Smush um together. (My spell checker did not like that last sentence-a-ur-fragment)
Now the soup—the ~~secrete~~- opps- secret, use only half a can of water—yes really! (One exclamation per recipe, no more)
Turn the stove as high as she will go and make the soup boil as fast as you can.
Add crackers to soup (I really like the little round ones made from oysters)

-Eat like a kid and enjoy-

Onion Rings and Other Stuff

2010-12-27T17:46:00.000-08:00

Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Homemade onion rings are a real treat at our house and have been for thirty years. They are simple to make and the mess is not too bad.
Okay – here is what you need.
A big ol’ soup bowl & a Fork - That’s it
-Ingredients-
If you are new to the old chef’s blog I try to explain everything as I go, and never too fast.
Ingredients means the stuff we will be using and today the ingredients are—
Flour, salt, baking powder and milk (that’s it four things and they are all white)
I throw in stuff like they are all white just to make this blog not only informative but interesting and memorable.
Oh—you will need an onion –I like white onions but red or yellow will work
• Mix one cup flour (in the soup bowl)
• One teaspoon of baking soda
• ½ teaspoon of salt
• Enough milk to mix, should be about the consistency of a raw egg white ( or not quite so much)
Slice onion into ½ inch rings—separate the rings
Dip until well coated – make sure it sticks – but don’t let it fill the hole in the middle (rings)
Drop into a pan of hot oil –this is what you need the fork for— (I turn the burner to a bit past medium heat, 360 if you have a fryer with a thermometer) CORN OIL, nothing fancy
If using a pan or skillet or a big chunk of aluminum foil the oil needs to be about ¾ inch deep.
Fry one side then flip –once again using the handy fork (each side will take about 30 seconds)
Fry the other side and lay on a paper towel-shake on a little salt or your favorite seasoning salt.
When finished they should be about the color of a pancake and boy do they ever taste good.
ENJOY

Have some of the coating left? Roll some chedder chunks in and fry as above--much better than you can find in your favorite cafe.

Merry Christmas With Only One Mishap

2010-12-25T12:23:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to everyone. I hope you all over ate (I did) and baked and cooked untill you were happy. (We did at our place)
Christmas is over and I am sitting in my recliner playing with my brand new Kindle. All four kids and all seven grandkids made it. BUT as always there had to be a mishap and this one was a dozy. Our four year old granddaughter broke her leg sledding. It was our second day on the hill (yesterday) she is a tough little kid but when she said she needed to go to the doctor we knew it was hurting. Now it is all cast up (hip to foot) and in about eight weeks she will be as good as new. Thank God for grandkids, good doctors and quick healing for four year olds.

Yea Christmas Vacation

2010-12-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

My first day of Christmas vacation-two weeks before I go back. First day and I already over ate. How can I do that--well Grandma (my wife) and two young (6&4) grand kids made Christmas cookies today. I became the designated taster. Then Pizza tonight. Remember those old Alka-Seltzer adds from years ago? I look and feel like one of those guys -- think I will go get some exercise. Maybe watch a football game on TV.

Food Quiz

2010-12-12T20:04:00.000-08:00

What food item, eaten by thousands of soldiers, needed only two ingredients?

Answer - Hardtack

Here is the recipe

Flour and Water – That’s it!

Mix to a consistency you like and can work with – anywhere from three to six parts flour to one part water

Roll out and cut into ½ inch thick four by four squares

Poke holes into each square - some old timers said 13 in each square, nowadays (does anyone really use the word nowadays anymore not sure it is a real word and my spell checker is not sure either) it is four rows of four, believe that makes 16 – use something like a chop stick or end of an artist’s paint brush to poke holes

Bake at 350 degrees twenty to twenty-five minutes flip them and bake the other side.

There you have it – shelf life of 50 years

Modern hardtack often contains salt but salt attracts moisture and brings mold. Mold means no more shelf life.

My Dad's Peanut Brittle

2010-12-07T20:22:00.000-08:00

By Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

I just read another recipe for “Old Fashioned Peanut Brittle” made with dry roasted peanuts in a microwave. THIS IS NOT OLD FASHIONED-THERE IS NOTHING REMOTELY OLD FASHIONED ABOUT MICROVAVES OR DRY ROASTED PEANUTS (dry roasted peanuts are tasty but not old fashioned).
So with thanks to my dad, who really made, “old fashioned peanut brittle” here it is the real stuff.

Here’s what you need – we will call it the Ingredients

1 ½ cups of white sugar - I try to find beet sugar instead of cane sugar. It might not matter but I live in Wyoming where farmers grow sugar beets, a tad too cold here for sugarcane.
½ cup of white corn syrup – this stuff pours out really slow, use your finger to wipe out the excess. Lick excess or let grandkids have it (I favor the grandkid approach but it tastes pretty good)
¼ cup water – Tap water only –do not use the bottled stuff – REMBER –OLD FASHIONED
1 ½ cups of raw peanuts- raw –never been cooked or freeze dried
½ teaspoon salt – Sorry but if you are on a low salt diet you must still put this in – my wife says, “don’t change it, and don’t leave anything out.”
1 ½ teaspoons baking soda – Soda not powder, they do look alike but soda is often in a bigger container. I remember one time when I switched (accidentally) soda and powder. It was before I had become the famous cooking expert that I am now. Anyway it was six or seven years ago –NO—wait a minute it was yesterday. At any rate, don’t mix them up. (Sorry for the bad joke)

How to do it - “ie” - Directions

(Ever wonder what “ie” means and why people use it? Well this is not only a great tasting candy recipe it’s a bit of an English lesson also. It can mean a lot of things but in this case “ie” is from Latin "id est" meaning "that is" or "in other words".
It is widely used to speed up writing because it takes such a long time to say, “in other words or that is.”
So here we go –“ie”- here we go

-Directions-

1. Rub some margarine on cooking sheets – coat them good (old fashioned no cooking spray – Okay use it if you must I do. Ever wonder why no one calls margarine oleo anymore?
2. In a 4 quart saucepan (the big ol’ pan no one ever uses) over medium-high heat, dump in the sugar, corn syrup and water and stir um up. Heat to boiling (lots and lots of bubbles) toss in the raw peanuts. Cook until peanuts turn kind of gold in color and syrup mixture beads off peanuts when raised out of pan. (Use a spoon to make this check, if you stick in your Jack Horner thumb it will blister).
3. Now real Quick mix in the salt and baking soda until well blended. (But don’t overdo the mixing) This is so cool it foams up volcano like and you need to be ready to pour or it will come right out of the pan—please do not think that this has happened to me, but be ready.
4. Pour it onto the prepared cookie sheets. (I love to say prepared cookie sheets like the TV fake chefs). Allow mixture to spread on its own. (Don’t use a fork – took me a while to get the hang of this). Cool completely, and break into pieces. Store in plastic bags. Freeze if you want to save it for awhile before use. Plus when I freeze it I will stay out of it and that can be good.

This is a great recipe – true old fashioned Peanut Brittle –Try It! –Can we say Yum here?

-N-

My Wanna-diet

2010-11-30T18:44:00.000-08:00

By Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Wow, am I glad to be back in a normal eating mode. Thanksgiving makes me think I am the guy in the television show, “Man Vs. Food” then I need to recover and get back to normal eating. My wife and I had a discussion of what kind of diet we follow. Must be something mid-western. She is from Oklahoma and I am form Nebraska, I guess that is why we live in Wyoming now. I don’t even know what that last sentence meant.
So here it is our normal Mid-western stuff diet: burgers, pork chops, pot roast, pizza, pasta, French bread, biscuits, BLT’s, soups, raw veggies, pastries, diet soda and unsweetened tea, lots of desert and once in a while some fast food. Sounds like the regular guy diet to me. Hope my wife does not read this; it may be just my wanna-diet.
-N-

Christmas Candy Bar Cake

2010-11-21T18:53:00.000-08:00

By Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

My favorite time of the year is almost here, Christmas time, today one of my favorite holiday recipes.

Here is what you need. Let’s call it the ingredients. -I like Christmas list better-

5 full size candy bars –here is a little hint—buy yourself one of those 6 packs of candy bars. You got it, one to eat while cooking—VERY COOL!

I know, I know, what kind of candy bars? –Hey what do you like? Milky Way, Snickers and Three Musketeers seem to work the best. They need to be a candy bar with the nugget-ee stuff in the middle. (Can’t believe the spell checker didn’t like nugget-ee)

8 regular candy canes - (regular means peppermint, peppermint is what candy canes are supposed to be).

1 cup butter- (real and unsalted)

2 cups sugar

4 eggs- (put the whites in one bowl and the yellows in another bowl)

2 ½ cups flour – One time I thought the recipe said flowers (may have been making something that called for a bit of wine) I used flowers instead of flour –now that was a big mistake but long before I became the revered Wyoming Chef that I am today.

½ tsp of Baking soda

1 ¼ cups Buttermilk – don’t have buttermilk? Let’s face it, who really has buttermilk?

Guess what? You can make your own buttermilk by simply adding one teaspoon (for the real bakers out there that would be 1 tsp – anyway add one tsp of vinegar to 8 ounces of milk and Wa-La you got yourself buttermilk.

1 cup chopped nuts –good stuff, no peanuts although I do like peanuts. Pecans are best but if you are a touch on the cheap side try English walnuts. I like to mix walnuts, pecans and almonds, but remember one cup—no more.

Now here is where it gets difficult—putting all this stuff together.** In a small sauce pan (my dad used to call all canned fruit sauce, don’t think anyone does that anymore).

Anyway in a small sauce pan over low heat melt together the candy bars with ½ cup of butter. Cream sugar with the rest of the butter (stir-um-together)

Add candy and stir together.

Add egg yolks, one at a time mixing as you go. (Don’t need to kill it just blend um up some)

Dissolve baking soda in buttermilk and add alternately with flour to the candy mixture – make sure you end with flour (not sure why you need to end with flour but I think it may be an alphabetical order thing)

Beat egg whites until stiff peaks form and fold into candy mixture with the pre chopped nuts (I try to use the mixer for this to speed things up – it never works do it by hand. But if you are in a hurry use the mixer and if the peaks don’t happen just pour the crap in, who will know the difference anyway?

Pour mixture into a cake pan –deeper is better- (make sure you pre-greased and floured it)

Now for the topping and this is really cool – chop up the candy canes mix about ½ and ½ with regular granulated white sugar and sprinkle on top 20 minutes before taking out of the oven. (You may have to take it out to do this to save wear and tear on the oven but then put it back for the final 20 minutes.

Bake at 325 degrees for 65-70 minutes

Or you might try to crank up the oven to six or seven hundred and see if it will bake in 15 minutes.

Eat and enjoy!

**One time I just stirred up the whole mess together threw it in the oven at 400 degrees-tasted great, didn’t look too good.

Choke Cherries and Great Weather

2010-08-11T18:48:00.000-07:00

The Choke Cherries have turned from green to pink to red. Won't be long now for some of the Ol' teacher's Choke Cherrie Jelly.
Second night in a row I am setting out on the patio enjoying another beautiful Wyoming evening. We pay for it when winter comes but summers are spectacular. Seventy-one degrees, southwest breeze and 27 percent humidity can’t beat it. Last night we sat outside until ten-thirty, put the blankets over us about nine. Temperature went down to 48 last night but back around 80 today.

WOW - Fresh Peach Ice Cream

2010-07-22T21:21:00.000-07:00

Tried some fresh peach ice cream at a peach orchard in Ruston Louisiana last week it was unbelievably good. Try it someday.

I’ve been grillin’ and eatin’ out lately more great recipes coming soon.

Snow Ice Cream

2010-05-25T19:30:00.000-07:00

I Remember a time when I was a kid - yes it was a long time ago, we made ice cream with snow. A few years later we learned that there was a small dust particle in each snow flake and that was the end of snow ice cream. We allready knew enough to only use white snow, none of the yellow stuff, but we never knew snow was part dirt. I ate a lot of it as a kid and my grandson (5) still thinks it's great. That's all for now, think I will go find some snow and make a little ice cream. Honey where's the chocolate?

Baked Brook Trout Wrapped in Green Crested Wheat Grass, Sautéed in Stream Rinsed Wild Raspberries.

2010-03-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

Today - camp food—this one is especially good for mountain fisherman.
This is your step by step guide to living the good life while roughing it in the back country mountains.
1. Gather several grapefruit sized stones (ten or twelve should be about right)
2. Stop and rest for a short time
3. Gather fire wood (about two good armloads should do it)
4. Stop and rest for a short time
5. Using your best outdoor instincts build a large fire inside the fire pit surrounded by the ten to twelve grapefruit sized stones.
6. Stop and rest for a short time
7. Let the fire die down to red hot coals before getting out the box of aluminum foil
8. Double layer the aluminum foil (I still call it tin foil) directly on the red hot coals
9. Soak burned hands in cool stream
10. Stop and rest for a short time – let hands regain some semblance of feeling
11. Put new tinfoil on the coals replacing the piece you threw in the stream after burning yourself
12. Get a big stick and roll the rocks onto the foil to prevent it from ever going anywhere again.
13. Spray the foil with a generous amount of cooking oil – then spay the coals and watch them flame up—kind of fun
14. Stop and rest for a short time after putting out the grass fire caused from spraying everything within five feet of the fire with cooking oil spray (ever notice the cans are always green)
15. Soak blistered hands in cool stream while resting up
16. Go back to the vehicle and get a change of clothes after falling in the stream trying to hand catch a small Brook Trout.
17. Stop and rest for a short time
18. Get a can of Span from the cooler
19. Cut into thin slices and lay on the foil covered fire
20. Isn’t that sizzle and smell great (now that’s campfire cooking)
21. Turn pieces when they smell like burning flesh (should be an easy smell to recognize)
22. Cook other side for a short while
23. Get out the loaf of white bread
24. Smear several pieces with mayonnaise ½ to ¾ inches deep (this will help kill the taste of burned to a crisp Spam)
25. Crack open an ice cold diet Pepsi or ratchet it up to a Mountain Dew (full sugar) if you are starting to feel a bit on edge
26. Eat and enjoy!
27. If there are still warm coals break out he marshmallows

What happened to the original recipe—never had one. Too hard to catch enough Brook Trout for a good meal, don’t believe I would recognize crested wheat grass if it were growing on my desk, and the wild raspberries—the bears in my neck of the woods will get there before me. Note: do not try to get to the berries at the same time as the bear.
-N-

Old Fashioned Cobbler

2010-02-11T19:14:00.000-08:00

Can an old school teacher cobbler it up in the kitchen? -Maybe-
-By
Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen, award winning author, retired politician and honored citizen.

Decided to try my hand at baking last week, actually I used both hands, except when I was on the phone.
Made a multi-berry cobbler and it was good enough to eat. When I remember all the stuff I put in it I will post here but for now this is what I remember.

1. I used several white things, flour, sugar and corn starch, don’t remember using any milk so this may be all the whites.
2. Frozen berries—quite a few
3. Spicy stuff—some cinnamon and clove and something I believe was called all-spice, whatever that is.
4. A few other things that I do not remember but they helped out the taste. Pick out a few of your own.
5. Cook, ur I mean BAKE at 350 or 450 degrees for a while but not a long while.
6. Top with lots of ice cream and enjoy

Total calories depend on how big the serving is and how much you eat, varies from ten or fifteen calories to eleven or twelve thousand.

Happy Eatin’

Fast Food Anyone ?

2010-01-19T09:21:00.002-08:00

Last night I watched a television cooking show—how to make a Cheeseburger and French fries with a malt or shake. Not sure what was more embarrassing, me watching or the fact that somebody somewhere believes that making a burger and fries is good television. Might be some better than watching the ongoing Jay Leno and Conan O’Bryan talk show war. Oh well, I turned to the golf channel for a re-run of the 1988 British Open—now that’s entertainment.

2010-01-19T09:21:00.001-08:00

Waffles--You Can Even Make Them At Home

2009-11-19T18:17:00.000-08:00

Just read where there will be a shortage of 'Eggo' brand waffles for the next year. Wow, can we survive. Today’s recipe—how to make waffles, at home. Yes, it can be done.
By Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.
Step 1. Pour a bunch of waffle mix in a big ol’ bowl NOTE- it may be called waffle flour, not sure. Anyway I have observed it comes in a big red bag. Five pounders, I believe.
Step 2. Put the bowl of waffle flour/mix under the tap—I prefer cold water—and run some in.
Step 3. Stir (can use a fork or spoon) my wife likes a wooden spoon, I do not, too rough to lick off the excess.
Step 4. Dig around in the bottom cabinets until you find that old black skillet. Trust me on this one, we all have one.
Step 5. Spoon a chunk of shortening into the skillet and turn the burner to high—super high if you have it. NOTE #2 – you can use oil (not the car kind) instead of shortening, but it is more fun to watch that big white glob of shortening skitter around in the skillet. Skitter in the Skillet—that just might be the title of my next cookbook, featuring every thing fried in a big ol’ black skillet.
Step 6. Pour a nice amount of the waffle batter into the skillet, when it starts bubbling like crazy, flip it. I like to grab the skillet handle and flip.
Step 7. Eat your delicious pancake while you pour the mix over and over again into the aging and little used waffle maker. Unless you have a Waring Waffle maker—they are the best.
Step 8. Don’t forget the syrup, Maple only.

Toast--how to make it and other stuff

2009-09-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

Yea I know anyone can make toast. Really well here is the recipe.

Take two pieces of white bread. Put in toaster and slide the toaster lever down and wait for the bread to cook. Or does it bake or burn or something? Wait for the toast to pop up (how does it do that) and you are ready to go. If you smell something burning push the little button on the side of the toaster and you may be able to save the toast.

Now the important part or should I say most important?

Toppings/spreads and buttery stuff for the toast

While the toast is still warm spread raspberry jelly, not jam. And here is the cool deal, only need to spread the jelly on one side and nothing on the edge—it’s ready to eat. If you prefer jam to jelly just take the two pieces of heavily jellied toast and JAM them together –sorry for the toast humor, I couldn’t help myself.

Time to recap
1. white bread
2. slide toaster lever down and insert bread—remember, its not toast yet
3. Do not put mustard on toast
4. Jelly, not jam, raspberry because it is some fine tasting berry like stuff
5. Enjoy anytime of the day or even at night
6. Never ever put pop tarts in your toaster

-N-

Just Some Good Old Chile

2009-04-12T19:51:00.000-07:00

- Chile -
Can an Old Wyoming Teacher make Chile? Yep!

-By-

Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.
This recipe is for real chili, no corn, potatoes, carrots or tofu, this is chili the way it was meant to be and the way it was meant to taste.
Best of all it takes less than an hour to make or is that cook?

One pound of lean Hamburger—90% or better (fancy chefs say ground beef but I still say hamburger)

½ Cup chopped Onion (you will need to chop it yourself, don’t use the dried already chopped stuff)

Brown the hamburger and onion together in a large skillet (this means cook them together, kinda stirs the flavors around) After the meat starts to sizzle add salt and pepper to taste—worried about the heart, leave out the salt!

Now get out the big pot and put it on the other side of the skillet on the stove.

In the big pot pour in one 16 oz can of V8 juice.

Add one can of Red beans—juice and all.

Add one can of Navy beans—juice and all.

Add one can of Kidney beans—and get this—juice and all. Chile makers that are not renowned, like the old chef here, often put too many kidney beans into chile and as my father-in-law used to say, “If I wanted Kidney Bean Soup, I would have ordered Kidney Bean Soup, but I wanted Chile.”

Add one can of Black beans, yep, juice and all.

Now turn on the burner under the big ol’ pot to medium.

Add one can of Stewed Tomatoes (don’t know why they usually come in cans of 14½ ounces, but they do) if you are not into chunks use tomato sauce.

ATTENTION—NEVER—EVER use tomato paste, this is supposed to be chile not tomato soup.

Mix the browned onion and meat into the big pot and start to add seasonings.

-And here is what you add!

One tablespoon of my own special Chile Powder—note how I never use tbsp or tsp—never could remember which is which. So use one Tablespoon—it’s bigger than the teaspoon. (The recipe for my own special chile powder is also on this blog—don’t you just love these informative blogs)? OK—OK—Ok, if you don’t have some of the Old Chefs chile powder get some at the store. WARNING—this will make the chile slightly less delicious.

One teaspoon of ground Paprika (yum and a nice red also)

One teaspoon of Cumin or for the light hearted or light stomached like myself ½ teaspoon of Cumin. This stuff has some real bite to it, so be careful. How good is cumin, the ancient Egyptians took it with them to the happy hunting grounds—it was that good.

Add another big pinch of Black Pepper or a couple a good shakes.

Add ¼ teaspoon of ground Sage—nice western smoky flavor.

Now turn the burner up and heat this stuff to an almost boil—keep stirring between sips of your favorite beverage.

This makes a very thick rich chile, if you would like it a little soupier, (not sure if soupier is a real word) anyway if you don’t want it so thick, add another 16 ounce can of V8—should be about right.

Serve with chopped green onions, shredded cheese and crackers---do not, under any circumstances, use them little round crackers. Get regular crackers, grind um up in your hands and put on chile. Or for a real treat put crackers in the bowl first and pour soup on top. WOW!

Note—do not let anyone pour any kind of hot sauce into this fine chile and do not try to stretch it with water—No water in this chile.

This will make 6-8 big bowls of fine Wyoming Chile—Enjoy!

Side note at the bottom—I once added some water and then added some white gravy mix to thicken—not so good.

-My own famous Chile Powder-

2009-03-27T21:16:00.000-07:00

By famed and loved Wyoming Chef, historian, award winning writer and all around good guy—all right, all right, I admit I wrote that about myself but this is some really good Chile Powder—a true chef never say’s yummy.

Wyoming Chile Powder (this is a secret recipe do not let it out of your site—if you use this powder in a Chile cook-off you will be disqualified for making God like Chile in a mortal contest)

This Chile powder can be modified for your own truly unique flavor—now do not—do not—get carried away as some lesser Chile cookers do and clean out the fridge adding left over corn, potatoes, broccoli, carrots, mushrooms or whatever else you find in the refrigerator to your Chile. Those things were left over for a reason –no one wanted to eat them, put them in the compost because the dog isn’t going to eat veggies. When the powder is this good don’t mess up the Chile.

Now this is step by step, you might want to rip this part out and pin it with one of your refrigerator magnets to the range hood where you can see it – real good.
Making the Chili Powder--Take two or three dried chilies, find them in any super market in little plastic bags over by the peanuts and grapes—WARNING—DO NOT POP ONE OF THESE PEPPERS IN YOUR MOUTH AS YOU DRIVE HOME FROM THE GROCERY STORE UNLESS YOU HAVE ADEQUATE SUPPLY OF DR. PEPPER WITH YOU.

I like poblanos (Chile’s) they are mild but have great flavor. Grind them up (now how you do this is up to your personal preferences but I like those little choppers for about twelve bucks, you can use the Waring Blender but when the wife makes a strawberry smoothie it may not taste quite the same as BP, before Peppers) ***makes about 3 tablespoons (however much that is)

The Powder

3 tablespoons

Your ground poblanos (the peppers—remember)

1 teaspoon
Cayenne pepper to taste, start with only some, add as needed

2 teaspoon’s

Add Cumin to taste—careful with this stuff it will fire-up the taste

One or a couple of spoons of garlic powder
2 teaspoons

Black Pepper
1 teaspoon

Oregano—to taste
2 teaspoon’s

Celery Seed—yes celery seed
1 teaspoon

Ground Sage
1 teaspoon

Salt
1 teaspoon

Add 3 pounds of brown gravy mix ********* just kidding

Put the above ingredients in a brown paper bag and shake the hell out of it—pour it into your popcorn bowl and scoop into shaker. Buy one of those big ol’ shakers at the dollar store. Get this, for only a dollar.
If you are bad at math the above mix will make about 7 tablespoons of Chile powder depending on how good you are at measurin’ and spillin’.

Feel free to multiply this recipe by any number you wish and make a really big jug-o-powder.

Happy Eatin’

Time to Fire up the Stove

2009-03-24T20:57:00.000-07:00

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Have you missed the ol' cooking lessons--here they come again?

I’ve been out of the kitchen (wife’s orders) and away from the Barbeque (can’t find it in the snow) for way too long. But the sun is shinning and it’s starting to look like cooking time for the old revered chef.

So here is what you can look for in the next few days—yep days, I know, I know it has been a long time, but I have been busy.

Chili (Red not Green, green is for sissies)

How to grill a veggie burger (don’t know why you would want to do this—but)

How to make a tossed salad (bet you got this one figured out already)

And a look at my new diet plan for fatties over 60 (like me)

Merry Christmas and Happy Cooking

2008-12-24T14:07:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all and let’s not forget we are blessed every day of the year by friends, family and readers. My wish for you is that this Christmas will be your best ever.
God bless and enjoy the day like none other.

Christmas Stocking Stuffer

 Haul into the house from the wood shed one large lump of coal
 Take coal to workshop
 Strike coal with hammer multiple times
 Pick out the nicest and shiniest pieces –about the size of a golf ball will do
 On Christmas Eve sneak up to the stockings and put one lump of coal in each stocking—except your own—in your own put a roll of shinny new quarters
 Go back to bed and sleep tight
 In the morning act as if you have no idea why Santa would pull such a dastardly deed

Christmas Sugar Cookies

2008-12-12T17:25:00.000-08:00

Christmas Cookies—Almost like mom used to make
-by-
Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen, award winning author, retired politician and honored citizen.

Put the following Ingredients (all of them) into a big bowl—your Sunday afternoon Popcorn Bowl will do just Fine.

* 1 cup butter (the real stuff) Find the cup with the stuff marked on the side, if you can’t find that one use a coffee cup (make sure it’s empty) smush the butter in.
* 2 cups white sugar (brown sugar is for sissies and yuppies)
Attention > Do not, under any circumstances use sugar substitutes, there is not such a thing as a substitute for sugar
* 2 eggs, (and beat them up with a fork) Take shells off eggs before beating
* Pour is some milk (most recipes say two tablespoons—who wants to measure milk with a spoon. The only time I use a spoon with milk is to stir in the chocolate)
* Couple of shots of vanilla
* 3 cups flour (and while we are talking about flour—maybe this would be a good time to order some flowers for who ever is going to clean the kitchen after the cookies are completed) Remember you are the chef and have you ever seen the chef clean up on any TV cooking shows. I don’t think so!
* 2 teaspoons baking powder (if you don’t have baking powder—save your time and gas—don’t go to the store—lots of stuff look like baking powder—corn starch, baking soda, gravy mix—maybe not that one. Anyway just put in some white fluffy stuff, who is going to know anyway?
* 1/2 teaspoon salt –As a chef I prefer the term a pinch of salt
* And maybe some more sugar, granulated, and a touch of flour just in case too much milk got poured in or in case a little beer got spilled into the dough.

-Preparation – Or, how to make the cookies-

Now here is where the old Wyoming chef can save you some time.
If the recipe says stuff like cream the butter or beat in something slowly or let set at room temperature or blend in, cut in or do anything slowly—Forget It.
Remember that big Popcorn bowl? Pour everything in and grab a big ol’ chili spoon and stir it up till it looks about right.
Now for the tricky part—most recipes say to cover and refrigerate for several hours or overnight. Hey, how does that work? Drooling over the mere thought of sugar cookie heaven and now we are supposed to wait. No Way.

Stick the big bowl in the freezer for about 20 minutes and it’s time to make cookies.
Shape the dough into golf ball sized clumps. This will make a nice big cookie, that way you will be able to truthfully say, “I only ate three or four.

Get out the best baking sheet in the house—a big flat chunk of some kind of metal stuff, the one used for heating up frozen Pizza before the invention of the microwave.

Flatten the golf balls with the bottom of your beer or soda can all over the baking sheet
Pour on some sugar and cinnamon—to taste, so, cover um up.
Bake at 367 degrees for 9-10 minutes or until edges look about right. **
Remove and enjoy!
Makes about 2 and 2/3 dozen Christmas cookies
**If you are in a hurry heat oven to 800 degrees and bake for three minutes
-----*****************************************************************************************************************-----
If you are like me and you want the ones with all the frosting—see my famous frosting receipt or just go buy a couple of big block Hershey’s Bars and follow the instructions below.

Unwrap bars and place in the big white mixing bowl (everyone has one)
Put in microwave for 2 minutes on high—Super high if you have it.
Take bowl of liquid chocolate from microwave and pour on cookies.

DELICIOUS! !

Coming Soon

2008-12-10T19:13:00.000-08:00

Coming soon right here--Christmas Cookies.

Pepsi Can Chicken

2008-10-29T21:09:00.000-07:00

By revered Wyoming chief, outdoorsman, historian, writer and all-around good guy.
Neil Waring

Now before we start this recipe we must explain the Pepsi can stuff. Some old boys refer to this as Beer Can Chicken, but around my place a Pepsi will have to do. Feel free to use Coke also but do not use any of that sissy soda pop like grape or 7-up, gotta be a good cola. I use diet Pepsi, the good stuff.

-HERE IS THE STEP BY STEP-

• Fire up the grill—I like charcoal for this taste sensation. Pour about five pounds of charcoal into the grill, soak with gasoline, step back and toss a match. The charcoal are instantly ready—now that little trick is worth the price of my new cook book— described below. Sorry about your eyebrows and the hair on your fingers or where it used to be.

• Break off a piece of the Aloe Vera (I really have no idea how to spell Aloe Vera, can’t even come close enough to let the spell checker find it) in the kitchen window and rub it on the burns, may need more than one piece.

• Drink about half a can of Pepsi and save the rest for the next step.

• Grab the chicken and cram it, butt down, over the Pepsi can. If it’s frozen, stick it in the microwave on high, for a while and then cram it butt down on the can.

• Set the can, with the chicken mounted on top, on the grill, close the lid, and go back inside to watch some more of the game.

• After about a quarter of the game go out and shake a bunch of salt and pepper on the sizzling bird.

• A little while later go get it and enjoy. No need to cut it up—eat it whole, one bird per person.

• Oh, don’t drink the rest of the Pepsi

My new cookbook, Cooking 'em up Right, is available now for $9.99 and can be found in most Woolworth and Montgomery Ward stores. What a great Christmas gift idea!

Happy Cookin’

© 2008

Barbeque

2008-06-25T21:01:00.000-07:00

Old Fashioned Back Yard Barbeque

Can an old school teacher Barbeque in the backyard?

-Maybe-

-By

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen, award winning author, retired politician and honored citizen.

Before starting I must warn you that not everyone can do it and if you can you can—some can’t. We will not be talking about cooking in the mountains or at the lake or city park. No this is all about cooking in the back yard. No firewood, no charcoal—today we will cook on the propane bottle, gas grill, the pride of every backyard chef, this differs from a back yard chief because, although we will be playing with fire no Teepee is needed.

RED MEAT, that’s what backyard grilling is all about. No fish, no fowl, no vegetables, just meat and keep it coming. What follows is all you need to know—these are secrets that I have been saving for years but secrets that backyard cooks everywhere need to know.

First- Turn the grill on as high as she will go, close the lid and go in the house and watch a re-run of Gunsmoke. This should warm it up just about right.

Second- Toss the meat on the grill, hamburgers, hotdogs, Polish-dogs (I hope I spelled Polish correctly because it would be really funny if I spelled it polish like the stuff you put on shoes to make um really shinny. Kind of like Job in the Bible and going to work, you know your job. Some peoples cooking will suffer like Job* in the Bible but follow these directions and yours will not.

Third- Close the lid and let ‘er cook. Cook until smoke rolls out between the lid and the grill.

Fourth- Open lid put out flames, turn off grill put meat on platter and place on picnic table.

Fifth- Serve on paper plates NOTE: get the paper plates that are a buck 99 for a hundred. It’s always hilarious to see who drops their food first.

Sixth- Wow this is a lot of steps. Make sure you have everything needed to top the meat—Ketchup, Mustard and onions, that is all you need—none of that sissy stuff like mushrooms, relish, Miracle Whip, pickles, lettuce or anything with the word sauce in it.

Seventh- Have plenty of white buns available—no whole wheat, rye, oat, rice or any of them other fake breads.

Eighth- Serve with cold pork and beans—open them with your pocket knife for effect or is it affect ?—and keep the chips coming.

Ninth- Drinks—any thing in a can

Tenth- Burp and ENJOY—Now wasn’t that easy.

* Thanks Jan for reminding me about Job--now that guy had it tough- probably no barbeque at all.

Tags: Cooking, Barbeque, grilling, coachwaring, neil waring, meat, humor, outdoors, wyoming

How To Make Tea

2008-01-23T19:20:00.000-08:00

How To Make A Fine Cup Of Wyoming Tea !

By a truly revered Wyoming chef, or is it chief never can remember. Let’s call it the Chief Chef---Not really Wyoming Tea either, tea is grown in China or Japan or Alaska, somewhere far away. The tea we’re talking about here is brewed in Wyoming. Brewed is a fancy word for cooked up-as in cooking up some tea.

Before you start make sure you find some really good water, someone once told me that water makes the tea. I believe that would be right since dry tea tastes a bit like sawdust or dried spider legs .Without water it is sure hard to drink that stuff. Under no circumstances will a fine maker of tea use bottled water—tap water makes the tea just right. If you are camping use river water but boil it up good for awhile.

Fill up the Tea Pot (that sounds kind of sissy like, from now on we shall refer to the tea pot as a kettle).
Set your Tea Kettle (that’s better) on a heat source: Hot Plate, Camp Fire, Fireplace, Hot Spring, Truck Radiator, House Fire, Nuclear waste site, or some other hot place.
When steam starts to come from the spout of the kettle—it’s ready for the tea.
Make sure you have real tea—not stuff that is called tea but none of the ingredients listed are tea. The word Herbal should not be on the tea or even in your house for that mater.
If you have loose tea (preferred) pour in about half of the box. If you have tea bags (sissy stuff) take about a half a box of them cut um open and dump in the water.
Let boil for a while
Poor into a brand new Champaign glass with a fancy W embossed. (kidding) pour into cup and drink. Now that’s tasty.
If you get a bunch of tea leaves/grounds on your teeth—lick and enjoy for a second time!

This and other great recipes can be found in Chef Neil Waring’s new cookbook—‘Cooking Stuff You Like To Eat’--$29.99 from used furniture stores, tire stores and flea markets everywhere you wanna live. Or $12.47 by mail order.

Tags: Tea, cooking, wyoming cooking, outdoor cooking, humor, neil waring, coachwaring, laugh, fun, Making tea, crazy cooking

The Original Heart Healthy Cowboy Diet

2007-11-09T23:11:00.000-08:00

Neil Waring
Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

I keep meeting people that have had some kind of heart trouble, might have something to do with being 60 years of age or maybe I hang out in the wrong donut shops. My friends have had balloon surgery, heart stints, open heart surgery even heart transplants, not really heart transplants. What all of these friends need is to simply follow my Heart Healthy Cowboy Diet! This diet has passed the test of time; you know how you see those old cowboys all the time? Well they must be doing something right and it’s the diet.

This diet is set up just like one of those Jenny Craig or Nutra-System deals. No it’s not but it still might work. Probably not, but it might, here is what makes it better—all the food you need can be found at your local quick stop.

Step 1 Weigh yourself—if you have to go out on the interstate and weigh in at the port of entry this could take a while.

Step 2 Send me a check for lots and lots of money for this great diet.

Step 3 I really only have two steps, but love those 3 step plans.

After researching and studying pictures of Elvis, Marlon Brando, Barry Bonds, Myself, Sally Struthers and Al Gore I have come to this conclusion. Those people really got, shall we say, larger and it must have been the food. Have you ever noticed how the government experts tell us to eat less and exercise more to lose weight? How many years of college did it take to come up with that? Next we will be told if the government raises taxes we won’t have as much money as we used to have. Forget that, if the government raises taxes they will tell us we have more money. Enough about taxes, now I am stressed and I need a snack.

Cowboys don’t need to be told how to eat, they already know how, one bite at a time. It’s what we eat that we need to talk about. So here it is.

Do not drink the following: coffee that costs over 5o cents a cup, anything that comes in a green bottle, except diet Mountain Dew, now that’s some good sippin’, tea that is green or white or isn’t even tea, ~~Beer,~~ milk that doesn’t come from a cow, water that comes in a bottle, or anything that has the word energy on it.

Do not eat the following: Anything that has ever lived in the water, meat that comes in a can, frosting, bread that isn’t made with wheat, watermelon flavored anything-except watermelon, imported stuff, gum, oatmeal, hot dogs with soy added, packaged cookies, meat stamped-reduced for quick sale and dated 5 days ago, all Subway sandwiches, Jarrod is not a cowboy, sugar free jell-o, everything that says-microwavable, is that even a word? Ah let’s continue: cheese except for Velveeta, Jolly Ranchers, since that is an oxymoron to most cowboys, poached eggs (unless poached in Bacon Greese) Bernie Botts any flavor Jelly Beans, yellow M&Ms, Belgium waffles, smokeless tobacco (make sure you spit it out, too many calories to swallow) Bologna with pork in it and finally, and this will make the diet really work, no donuts, unless you are a member of the local law enforcement crew in which case stress leads to donuts.

Oh—one last thing—eat less, exercise more, visit your dentist twice a year, take a once a year physical, vacation, take your vitamins, and die anyway. But at least it should be from old age,

Tags: Diet, food, cowboy, cowboy cooking, humor, humor cooking, wyoming, neil waring, coach waring, west, the west, wyoming, cookbook, camping, camp cooking

No Meat in the Pot

2006-12-29T21:20:00.000-08:00

Cooking without Meat --It Can be Done

-By-

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Vegetarian cooking

Two kinds of eaters inhabit the earth—meat eaters and those that don’t eat meat—vegetarians. When cookin for a vegetarian remember there are two types of vegetables, peas and carrots. Some vegetarians also eat fruits like apples, pears and some kinds of cookies. When preparing raw vegetables clean um up real good, then serve um. That’s about it.

Cooking vegetables is a little tricky but here is what you do. Get a big black skillet sizzling with about a half inch of bacon grease throw in the vegetables, you can use peas or carrots, some crazy vegetarians throw them in together. Key to remember—heat skillet to about 800 degrees before pouring in the bacon grease; don’t worry about the smoke as most people never change the batteries in their smoke detectors anyway and the smoke will clear out in a few hours. If you want to get a little variety roll the veggies in flour and egg before putting them in the grease; talk about crazy.

Most vegetarians are very dedicated to eating right but probably sneak out to Taco Bell on occasion.

Cooking Tofu is something every vegetarian needs to learn. Tofu is best cooked on the grill. Turn the grill on as high as it will go—put Tofu on the rack and close lid, get in car drive to Diary Queen and buy a large chocolate dip cone, when you get home throw away the Tofu and take a nap. Happy Eatin!

Tags: humor, cooking humor, bad cooking, comic cooking, funny kitchen cooking, baking humor, funny cooking

key Cooking

2006-12-29T21:16:00.000-08:00

Can A Country Man Cook Thanksgiving Dinner?

-By-

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Thanksgiving Turkey

Thanksgiving is one of America’s favorite holidays. Thanksgiving was started with disco in the 1980s because there were a lot of turkey farmers with too many turkeys and not enough turkey eaters. So these very same farmers started a holiday called turkey day - but people didn’t seem to think a holiday should be named after a big dumb bird so the farmers started giving away their birds and people said thanks and thanks-giving was born. I believe it started in March of 1981 but was soon moved to November because there really was not much to be thankful for in March and November had football.

HOW TO- Get a Wal-Mart brand turkey (how do they sell all that stuff so cheap?) Set it on the dinning room table for a couple of days to thaw. On thanksgiving morning get up real early and cut the turkey from the plastic it’s wrapped in. Put turkey in a big ol skillet and cover with tin foil. Place in oven pre-heated as hot as she will go. After a few beers pull er out of the oven and cover with salt, pepper, butter and diet coke. While you have it out pull the plastic sack of giblets out of the turkeys butt and giveit to the dog. NOTE- Giblets are stuff no one eats but they send along with the turkey so you will be charged for another pound. Leave turkey in oven till done or smoke starts coming from the oven. Place on a large paper plate and let everyone have at it. Now that’s not so hard is it? Happy Eatin!

Tags: turkey cooking, Bad Thanksgiving turkey, Humor in the kitchen, wyoming cooking, men in the kitchen, cooking humor, funny kitchen stuff

Fried Summer Sausage

2006-12-29T21:09:00.000-08:00

Hunting Camp Special

-By-

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Fried Summer Sausage

First prep the summer sausage by slicing the roll of sausage into ¼ inch slices or somewhere near that. Slice on a plate or the kitchen counter—do not use a cuttingboard as someone may have used it previously to slice strange vegetables such as beets or rutabagas and that stuff could contaminate the fine rich taste of the summer sausage. Don’t forget to throw away those little wrappers around each slice and don’t give them to the dog cause he might puke under the table and someone could put their Christmas socked foot in it.

Place skillet on electric stove and turn heat to super high--if using a gas stove turn burner up until the little blue flame is approximately 4 inches high. When skillet is smokin stand back and toss in slices of summer sausage (remember to open kitchen door and window before tossing summer sausage into skillet) let it sizzle till the neighbors call the fire department. Place slices on un-toasted white bread and eat. De--licious!!

Chef Notes—Buy only the cheap Summer Sausage in the Mall cause that gourmet stuff might not blacken up just right. Happy Eatin!

Tags: Men cooking, Hunting Camp Cooking, Hunting camp humor, Baking humor, Bad cooking, funny in the kitchen, cooking humor, men cooking

Sloppy Joes

2006-12-29T21:02:00.000-08:00

Everyone Loves Sloppy Joes

-By-

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

SLOPPY JOES

This is a true all-American treat. The Sloppy Joe was invented in 1964 by Thurston Milan near St.Sloppy Hibiscus, South Dakota. Before 1964 Milan was locally famous for inventing a way to turn gasoline into water—it never really caught on and made him rich. But when he named the Sloppy Joe after himself—wow did it catch on. School Cafeterias everywhere started serving them and some of the kids ate them, sometimes.

Ah Yes, Sloppy Joes the recipe. Get the big ol’ black skillet out of the cupboard, put it on the stove and heat it to 700 degrees. Toss in the meat, it should be ground meat of some kind but beef, elk and any meat that tastes a lot like chicken will work. Do not use fish as fish is for sissies and should only be eaten when the in-laws take you to Red Lobster on your anniversary. Chop up a couple of handfuls of onions and toss them in the skillet as the meat browns. If the kitchen starts to fill up with smoke pour a little diet soda into the meat and onion mix. If you don’t have a diet soda handy you might have to use olive oil, Pam or some of that other sissy Emerald crap. When the meat is cooked good mix in the following secret ingredients: Ketchup, Mustard, Pepper, sugar, salt and a touch of Jack Daniels, stir and serve on white bread smothered in Velveeta— with chips on the side ---delicious. Note do not put pickles, lettuce, mushrooms or any crap like that on these great tasting sloppies.

Happy Eatin!

Tags: Wyoming, cooking, humor, outdoors, hunting, neil waring,

Tags:

Cookin' Shrimp

2006-12-29T20:56:00.000-08:00

Shrimp in the Great American West-

'yikes'

-By-

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Shrimp

Occasionally people claim they are allergic to shrimp. Now this is just not true. Shrimp are little shelled animals that live in salt water or sometimes fresh water. So really they are just fish with shells and who’s ever heard of someone allergic to fish? And we all enjoy those delicious macaroni shells and I would suppose that the shrimp shells are the same as the macaroni shells and who’s ever heard of someone allergic to macaroni. So there you have it—people allergic to shrimp are faking because they want a cheeseburger, which by the way is always better than shrimp anyway. But if you do go for the shrimp, here is how to cook um. Get out the big old black skillet fill it almost up with Crisco or Orville Redenbacher’s popcorn oil (if you prefer popcorn shrimp). Make sure you use oil without trans-fats as New York has decided that trans-fats are bad. Since most people don’t know trans-fats from a transplant, use what ever oil you want just avoid the 10w30 unless that is the only oil you have. Heat oil to 2 or 3 thousand degrees; throw shrimp into pot from several feet away. Cook until the shrimp are black as night, about the color of Oreo cookies is perfect. If the shrimp still have that white stuff on them like Oreos after cooking for a few minutes toss them back into the pot because something is very wrong. When the shrimp are ready serve on a paper plate with ketchup, pepper and Benadryl just in case there is something to this allergy stuff.

Happy Eatin!

Tags: Humor, cooking humor, men in the kitchen, hunting camp cooking, Men in the kitchen, Shrimp, Man humor

Baking a Cake

2006-12-29T20:51:00.000-08:00

Just For Fun Cooking from Wyoming

-By-

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Baking a Cake

How do you make a cake? Not easy but if you follow the directions below you can do it.

First the ingredients You will needthe following: 3 or 4 eggs, sugar, flour, vanilla, soda (baking not Diet), salt—but no pepper; also get out some yeast, baking powder, butter, shortening, and milk. Some cakes take more stuff than others. Also get some cake flavoring—go to Wal-Mart for this in case you want a cake other than regular cake flavor. Some people prefer chocolate others favor clove or hickory for cakes.

Second—mixing up the stuff This is a real key to making a great cake. Mix up the wet stuff in one bowl and the dry stuff in another, bakers will tell you this is a must but I like to mix it all up together in the baking pan, saves time and dirty dishes. Careful with the flour as there are different kinds of flour such as pancake flour, bleached, unbleached and petunias, all will give the cake a different taste and maybe weight. Use only cake flour, unless you don’t have any, then use what ever you have in the cupboard but only eat a small piece of the cake.

Third—Baking the Cake Cakes should bake for 30 to 40 minutes at 350 degrees, but I prefer 15 min at 750 degrees (seems like the same thing to me). Or microwave on high for 12 minutes; should work.

Fourth—Frosting Use equal parts of shortening, sugar and frosting flavor, mix up on stove at 800 degrees and pour on cake—let cake and frosting cool for 2 or 3 minutes before serving. Happy Eatin!

Tags: Humor, cooking humor, baking humor, men in the kitchen, bad cooking

Spaghetti and Cheese

2006-12-29T20:42:00.000-08:00

Ye Old Wyoming Crazy Recipe

-By-

Neil Waring

Revered Wyoming Chef, outdoor cooking expert, admired woodsmen and honored citizen.

Spaghetti and Cheese

Now this is one family favorite that you will not soon forget. Buy one large bag-sack or what ever they call that wrap around spaghetti, the one pound bag should feed 2 if you had some lunch. Break spaghetti into thirds (three pieces). Heat a big-ol pot of water to a roaring boil-when water starts slopping out on the stove it should be hot enough. While water is heatin up get out a brick of Velveeta cheese and cut off about ten or twelve ¼ in slices. Cut each slice into fourths/cut across each way once. Careful when cutting the Velveeta, try not to get too much of that foil paper stuff the cheese is wrapped in - in the pot. Now toss all them bitty little pieces of pasta (fancy word us chiefs or is it chefs use for spaghetti) into the pot. Let boil for awhile then hold plate over the pot and dump water into the sink. Add some milk to the pot and throw in the Velveeta. Get a regular table fork out of the drawer and stir in the Velveeta with burner still on super high till it all melts into one giant ball of pasta-cheese-milk stuff. Season with salt and pepper and serve. For special occasions grind up a few crackers, sprinkle on top add a little cheddar (a non-Velveeta cheese) to the top and put in the oven on broil until the smoke alarm goes off. Put on your huntin glove and pull outta the smoke filled oven and serve. This dish is exceptional served with Diet Pepsi, white bread and a bunch a meat.

Happy Eatin!

Tags: wyoming, cooking, bad cooking, food, cowboy, laramie, outdoor cooking, humor

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